My nephew Manu's experience from Manipal in India

Experience in faith by Siddharth Manu

- Shared on January 20, 2008

Good Morning Everyone! This is Siddharth Manu, presently a 1st Year Engineering Student at MIT, Manipal. I remember the day in 1995, when coming back home from my school, I first found my mother chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. I can proudly proclaim that since that day, the life of me and my family has been transformed for eternity.
I was indeed fortunate to be brought up in this very small and cozy Soka family at Ranchi, where on Sundays we would have meetings and I would readily accompany my mother and my father(who joined a year later in 1996). As a small child, I was shy, introvert but quite bright. Initially, I just used to participate in various cultural items like dance, skit, songs etc and also chant a few minutes daily, though just for minor things as I was too small then. I grew up, receiving numerous big and small benefits, which I would happily share in meetings, though with trembling hands and reading as fast as possible to rush off from the stage. I did not know, that those days were actually nourishing the roots of a Bodhisattva, who would become a Vanguard of Soka in the future.
Being a small kid, I wanted to become a Computer engineer, as it fascinated me a lot. I started cherishing the dream of getting into IIT, as does any other engineering aspirant from India, even though just from hearsay. Through the blessings of the Gohonzon, almost always I would stand first in my class and get extraordinary praise from all my teachers and family members. I kept growing in faith and learning the wonderful virtues of being an SGI member, something so wonderful and noble. I got many conspicuous and inconspicuous benefits throughout, which I was always encouraged to share.
I passed 10th with an excellent percentage, which made me somewhat easy going. Time went by, but I couldn’t realize that I was no more a child, but an adolescent or a teenager, and the time had come for me to walk into the real & cruel world, where we have to fight for every loaf of bread. I had somewhere become a bit complacent, and I was sort of fooling myself, that since I was chanting Nam myoho renge kyo, I would get whatever I wanted, even if realities deny it. I idly thought ‘the Gohonzon will take care, I need not worry’. But faith must manifest in our daily life, or it remains a mere ideology. Gohonzon is nothing outside, but our enlightened existence within, which helps us give our best, tapping out the immense courage, compassion and wisdom of a Buddha. In classes 11th and 12th, when I was supposed to work the hardest, I didn’t and breaking the expectations of many, I could not clear IIT JEE. But it was my good fortune that I could get admission in MIT, Manipal, a decent engineering college. Sensei says we must become indispensable wherever we are and I had this place Manipal as my place of mission as a Student division SGI member.
I came to Manipal in July 2007 as one among many, as many as a thousand freshers. With my deluded mind, I could not comprehend where I belonged in those many people. And also, even though I had enrolled into this Engineering College, somewhere in my heart, I did not seem to have any more interest in engineering, because it seemed purposeless. Life seemed a struggle, a struggle that seemed to have only darkness ahead. I was petrified to see the perverted people in this college, many who had sold their conscience to drugs, drinking, promiscuity, hatred, ill and illicit mentality, vandalism, lobbying and virtually everything in the world of animality, hunger and hell. I felt in hell, surrounded by all sorts of troubles and darkness. I could not find anyone like me over there. I felt lonely, like a deer trapped by all sorts of dangers. It seemed I’m trapped in this hell for 4 long years, away from my parents, who were unaware of my life condition at that time. Also, I had no BSG (SGI in India) here till then, which had been the source of light all my life. As negativity invites more negativity with it, I started thinking that even after those 4 years of struggle, I could only get some ordinary job and will have to live away from home, working 9 to 7, a life dull and joyless. I would be just one of those billions of ordinary citizens, who face the harsh realities of life, get defeated by them, feel impotent to change the world, but just remain good enough to complain and despair. Besides these clouds of misery and loneliness, I was also faced with Engineering Branch shuffling problem which further terrified me, as I had taken some actions impulsively during this period. People with varying and distorted opinions would leave terrifying impacts on me, and I could not help feeling miserable about myself, shaken like a pendulum in every direction possible. Intellectual thinking is always shallow and partial and doesn’t stand anywhere near the discerning wisdom of the Buddha, that which we can tap from within our lives. I was giving in to the negative thoughts of people, likes a puppet in the hands of my circumstances, unaware of my true self.

Sensei (SGI President Daisaku Ikeda) says "When you face your fear, most of the time you will discover that it was not really such a big threat after all. We all need some form of deeply rooted, powerful motivation -- it empowers us to overcome obstacles so we can live our dreams.”

Suddenly, I stopped and thought - This was not the way I was supposed to be. I wasn’t helpless. I had the law and the SGI with me. I was probably the only one in Manipal who had the noble mission of Kosen rufu in my heart.

I took guidance from my Uncle who is a member of SGI-USA. He said that being SGI members, being Bodhisattvas of the Earth, we can’t possibly ‘predict’ what our lives will be like in the future. We can’t apprehend our immense potential as it lies hidden in our lives, clouded by self pity and ignorance. I was a human being with infinite possibilities in me, which I could tap out only through devoting my life to the mystic law. I also got the support and guidance of BSG members, particularly from Delhi and Mumbai, who cared for me like their own family members.
The Gosho states : “ When deluded, one is a common mortal, but when enlightened, one becomes a Buddha”. I was just looking intellectually at myself, having shallow, partial and in fact, incorrect understanding. Introspection occurs at the level of human thought, but prayers go deeper than that. I realized that I was no one ordinary, but a Bodhisattva of the Earth, someone with a great mission, the mission of Kosen Rufu, the peace and happiness of the entire world, which might sound strange and unrealistic to some, but it is a truth which only the wise can grasp. I realized that I was not a commodity, whose quality and price is determined by the trademark it carries. No matter what sort of college I study in, whatever the circumstances I may face, however bad the things may seem to be now, whichever branch I was in, I could win! And I must, being the Daishonin’s disciple.

So I stood up with all my strength, to fight the innermost devil in my life, chanting to the Gohonzon as my only resort from this hellish life condition. I started reading Sensei’s Youthful Diary, the diary which he wrote when he just joined the Soka Gakkai under his mentor President Toda. I could feel the severity of the struggle of my mentor. But his heart was full of hope for the future, even in those ruined times. The spirit of Mentor and Disciple is the essence of Nichiren Buddhism, and I decided to follow this path till the end, not just in words but in action. I had to stand up, like my Mentor did. I had to become a true disciple of his.

Since then has started a continuous struggle of Human Revolution, to polish the tarnished mirror of my life. Challenging my weaknesses to develop my self, I am striving to overcome my negativities night and day.

I started getting up as early as 5 in the morning everyday, when everyone else would be asleep, so that I could have time to chant 1 hr of daimoku everyday, followed by a day of hard work and study. Although others would suggest me to concentrate just on my studies, but only I knew in my heart that I, and in fact everyone if he tries to, can expand his life state to do whatever he wants. What is required is a really strong ichinen. Nothing is an excuse for a SGI member. I started giving my hundred percent to faith, also ensuring that I give my best to my studies as well. Whenever I got the opportunity to speak in class or to make a presentation, I would give my heart and soul to it, to convey my Mentor’s noble vision to all others. I had to struggle to break the shackles of mediocrity and complacency, which chains most of us.

But our faith helps us to develop the capacity to extract more and more out of our lives, filling us with inexhaustible vitality and freshness. I determined to not to miss any Zadenkai at Mangalore, even though I had to travel 70 kms by bus on an unpleasant road. Even if there would be an exam just the next day, I wouldn’t ever miss a meeting. I made it a point to finish my studies before Sunday so that I could attend the Zadenkai (SGI monthly discussion meeting) , without hampering my studies and in full spirit. Sometimes, I had to travel all alone, but never once did I look back or think twice. When the meeting would be over, I was fortunate enough to get to chant in the Kaikan and this filled me with tremendous hope and happiness for the future. I started praying for doing well in my course as I didn’t want to end up being an escapist. I started chanting to regain interest in engineering and to give my best. I didn’t care for the branch I was in or what I had been doing. I wanted to study well, to become an outstanding disciple. All the time in my life, I had chanted for results, but this time, I only chanted for the process, not results. Sensei says “Study is the topmost priority for a student”. I had to give my best. Also, I prayed that I could help all my friends, just like a Bodhisattva should. As I was good in Comp. Programming and fairly good in Basic Electrical Technology, the two subjects considered tough, I studied these together with my friends with a motive to help them. Never did I miss a single gongyo. I was also connected to the SGI members from across the globe, with whom I was always in sync and who would keep guiding me. I also started developing deep, strong, heart to heart bonds with people, whom I cherish, including my parents, whom I seldom confided to before. Furthermore, I was able to shakubuku (initiation to Nichiren Buddhism) friend in college, by sincerely sharing Sensei’s words and guidances, when he seemed to be broken.

In my semester internal exams, though I got below average scores in maths, I kept striving and working harder towards my goal.Earlier, I had always feared and ran away from practicing maths sums but this time, with faith as my basis, I chased my fears away squarely.

The joy started showing in my life. I could enjoy the daily struggles, each based on daimoku and study. My final exams started, and I gave my best in each of them, helping my friends in preparations, with a solemn sense of responsibility and gratitude. In the computer programming exam, when I could relax all the time, I studied with my friends till late hours for their sake.

The semester exams were over. Just before leaving for home, I got a wonderful actual proof. I knew a friend named Karan in our college itself, whose parents are BSG leaders at Chandigarh. But he was never into this faith, even though his parents always insisted him to. He even didn’t want to chant. I understood his scenario and kept sending him daimoku and would always encourage him but never taunt him for faith. On the night when I was supposed to leave for home, I sent an sms to Karan to chant with me. He said he wasn’t there, which I took as just another excuse. But 10 minutes before I was leaving, he texted me, calling me to his room, for he wanted to chant! I was overjoyed. He said he had even forgotten how to chant, but he chanted 10 minutes with me joyfully. It was a big actual proof for me and I know some day, he’ll be here with us.

When I reached home, Ranchi, I unexpectedly got the opportunity to become the Emcee in the District General Meeting there, which I did with pride and gratitude. I could also work with the YMDs and YWDs of Ranchi, learning from their struggles. These new members at Ranchi, most of whom were from very humble backgrounds made me deepen my faith and I personally strove with and thanked every one of them for this.

In Buddhism, it is said “Unseen Virtue brings Visible Reward”. When my 1^st semester results came out, I was delighted to get a GPA of 9.15 and I am among the toppers. I had done this with full participation in SGI activities and selfless work for my friends. I got another great actual proof that my Study loan got sanctioned without any hassles and in just 1 day, which is remarkable indeed.

I, now can feel the Shoten Zenjin with me at every point and everywhere. I don’t feel lonely anymore. I have developed a very strong network of genuine friends from throughout the world, all having the vision for Kosen Rufu. I also feel the struggle and importance of each and every person in my life and I’m grateful to each one of them. I am also very thankful to the BSG leaders from Mangalore and my parents, who always encouraged and guided me and continue to do so now as well. BSG Manipal is growing and we have vibrant youth division members here, who can share this wonderful life philosophy with so many young people at Manipal and work together for building invincible castles of happiness in their lives.

I would like to quote Toda Sensei here:

THE LION GOES ALONE ON HIS THOUSAND MILES JOURNEY. HE SEEKS NO COMPANION. I TOO WILL GO – TOWARDS KOSEN RUFU, I WILL WEATHER THE STORM, I WILL FIGHT OBSTACLES AND DEMONS, I WILL RIDE THE RAGING WAVES AND I WILL FORGE ON, NO MATTER WHAT. I WILL GO, I WILL FIGHT.

I can proudly say that my life has been transformed and I now have just one mission in my life, the noble mission of worldwide Kosen rufu. I will strive harder and harder each day for it, till my last breath, and beyond... for eternity!

Thank you so much